I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
