You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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