So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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