The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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