I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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