She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
