she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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