there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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