dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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