Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
