someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Small penises have feelings too.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
