READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
