Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
