But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
