im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
