By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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