Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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