I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
