I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
