I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
