so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
