Your mouth is God's brothel.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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