This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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