We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
