Duck Duck Cougar?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
