You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I lost the right to judge tonight
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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