Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
