Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
