so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just had sex on a roof
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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