I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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