New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
