you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
