Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
