This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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