Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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