question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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