Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
