Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He shit in the fireplace
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
