It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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