Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
