I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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