FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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