i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
