Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
