Dual....:-)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
