conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have aggressive nipples.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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