the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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