is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
