Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
