We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
