your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
