I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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