I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
