actually, I'm a sock model
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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